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Five word story - The complete version!

Tanpeel, Sun Jan 29 2012, 08:55AM

Updated to include all the insanity up to 16/3/12!
Tanpeel

Due to the, quite frankly, surprising success of the Five word story thread, I thought some people may like to read the complete story so far, without scrolling through the 10 pages of nonsense on the thread itself. I have taken it upon myself to edit it slightly, simply for attempted grammatical accuracy, but most of the idiotic rambling is completely untouched. They say "give 1000 monkeys 1000 typewriters and they will almost surely write Shakespeare", but its obvious that giving 3000 Crazy Fools space to write 5 words, and you will almost surely get gibberish. Anyway, enjoy!

Once upon a time there was a dog that farted, which smelled so bad that everyone died except for three. Those three were Dubien, Hotmage and Tanpeel, who escaped in car that was made out of cheese and smelly cheese resurrected all mice which were crushed by the Titanic. Knowing that the fart would kill all people on board they quickly retreated to the spaceship to head to planet Ape to construct new civilization and they got blown up. They crashed on strange planet where there was a very strange people who looked like the blue guys from Avatar. Instead of treehuggers they were lovers of the art of French wine making and the weirdest CFUK people ever to been born unto the universe so they were called Winierds. Blue people taught them their wicked ways in the art of the skyrim dovah speak but then they all magically disappeared into the land of minecraft, on a server named CrazyFools. Their Staff are awesome. The strange winierds started to get banned from CrazyFools so they made raging ban appeals and took an arrow to the face. Then they died.

With the winierds dead, members of the blue people started violently protesting. First they killed but after they made peace the moderators were still outraged so they decided to ban them, but before they were banned they had all decided to Grief! First they griefed the Titanic, flooding cabins with LAVA. Then they went to the minecraft server CFUK once again, ragequitted the server and went onto different servers and got banned because of griefing. The three dog fart survivors decided to make their own water park where they got lots and lots of different workers to help build it. They stopped to smoke a blunt and had a quick look at space blocks and their waterpark was complete. After this they went to Disney Land and harassed people rather disturbingly about a really ugly bunny dressed as a middle-aged transvestite singing karaoke. Dubien then punched Hotmage who fell on top of Tanpeel and caused a huge fight where Tanpeel bit off Dubien's Hand and Dubien broke Hotmage's leg and Hotmage punched Dubien and Mickey Mouse came making laser rays to blast them all. Mickey shot Tanpeel and Hotmage but Homage used a mirror to reflect and it bounced and hit poor Dubien. He was incinerated. Then Kahr used his God powers to roundhouse kick Hotmage because he killed Dubien and Hotmage landed on a spike. A sharp, pointy spike. Hotmage died. Tanpeel was the last victim to painfully die. Tanpeel was killed by the undead zombie Hotmage. The zombie Dubien ate Tanpeel's liver with some fava beans. Tanpeel was surprised thinking Dubien would give him a hug instead of eating his face but he was wrong. Tanpeel's insides Were happily gobbled up by a south french winierd, who raged all over the forums which made his fellow wineirds hang their heads in shame.

After finally escaping, the ghosts swam in a pudding pool and drowned in the pudding, a very hot chocolate pudding. But then the ghosts realized they weren't actually ghosts, they were Tanpeels manly chest hair on fire, because Tanpeel hadn't showered in twelve months. This is because there's a Walrus named Steve that held him sideways and tore off his sweater and made fun of the fact that his grandma is a retarded badger that eats small children like Dubien. Because he likes to eat triple choc cookies Tanpeel decided to punch him in the nose, then ran away to see if he could find a bowl of triple chocolate cookies because he was hungry. Tanpeel grabbed the cookies then they caught on fire in his stomach when he ate the cursed triple chocolate cookie. The cookies were cursed by none other than the Great Underwear God - Tanpeel The Naked man with his hairy beaver who had challenged the great undead Dubien, who had powers of resurrecting the great Hotmage100 who instantly farted on the boat. It then sunk along with the Titanic on Crazy Fools.

Dubien resurrected the wineirds to resurrect Hotmage and Tanpeel that had just been cremated in the furnace of the great almighty Broonish Empire. Content with murdering all of the empire's leaders to take it over again and again until finally Batman and Chuck Norris arrived and spoilt the freaking game! But there was one hope: the almighty Notch and Jeb came in to save game! After they saved, they got attacked by a weird creature and then Greb entered the world of hopping turtles who were in a monarchy of the person who did drugs every day of the day, for some strange reason. During that day they decided to start a war between themselves and their rivals, who were made of butter and melted in the sun, which was made of cheese and ham. They were the dynasty of Luke Skywalker's secret child, called Jim Bopity-Boo III, who for some reason liked to eat children for dinner.

One day, John Boopity-Bop divided by zero, creating a new number which he used to defeat the evil overlord now draped in the elegance of a turtle which tried to divide by zero, but miserably failed, resulting in a peanut falling off a cliff made of socks and silver. It broke in half into four pieces and then a large explosion went off, destroying the entire universe, so it turned into a Tivoli which was eaten by a flying panda that could sing fluently in five languages including Klingon, L3375P34K, Pig Latin, Ghetto and binary. On the Titanic, which later set afloat, bringing furs to trade with the people of Mars, who were also very picky about their psychedelic rainbow coloured pubic hair. They then traded two of their pubic hairs which could sell for millions of chickens, so they made a chicken army of skilled chicken warriors which would strike down any opponent with their powerful ability to tickle their enemies to death on Sundays and every other week of the year, due to the earths collision with an enderdragon Broonie decided to entice with pumpkin cheesecake, however their mission failed. The End.

A new story arose about a young warrior named Blinky, who had red eyes and a pink fluffy tail that someone set on fire with a turkey and a suspicious slapping command and ban powers. Blinky set off to save the world from all griefers, but then Notch came along with his notched pickaxe of Skyrim and summoned dragons to defeat young Blinky, but he used dragonrend and flew away to the land of far away where he won the trophy of being the strangest banana in the whole world. But they were mistaken as the strangest sock in the drawer was in fact Jighello.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Aconan, Sun Jan 29 2012, 09:04AM

What the?

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Jighello, Sun Jan 29 2012, 09:07AM

Lol!

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Hotmage100, Sun Jan 29 2012, 11:31AM

LMAO ! Thx Tanpeel xD I was going to type it out like that also hahaha

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Knoparen, Sun Jan 29 2012, 11:32AM

Lol. Screwy story.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
ninjanpirate, Sun Jan 29 2012, 12:35PM

It's wonderful

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Sun Jan 29 2012, 12:41PM

Well... i dont think we'd ever write a Shakespeare but we can sure write crap! good crap at that

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
droid225, Sun Jan 29 2012, 04:02PM

Now thats what i call a story XD

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
SampleName, Sun Jan 29 2012, 06:46PM

What just happened?

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Sun Jan 29 2012, 08:47PM

huh and its updated every new post aswell...

this should get interesting

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
dubien, Sun Jan 29 2012, 10:23PM

We should publish this story.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Mon Jan 30 2012, 09:20PM

might not be the wisest thing ever to do

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Mon Jan 30 2012, 09:45PM

its...... beautiful

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Ryona4, Tue Jan 31 2012, 03:18AM

This should indeed be published everywhere....

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
wjg999, Thu Feb 23 2012, 10:33PM

title : a crazy fools tale

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Tanpeel, Fri Mar 16 2012, 10:04AM

Updated to include all the insanity up to 16/3/12!

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
BRooNiE, Fri Mar 16 2012, 12:42PM

what the Griefers

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Tanpeel, Fri Mar 16 2012, 02:31PM

what the Griefers

BRooNiE

My thoughts exactly.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Mar 16 2012, 03:00PM

Well that new update made more sense...

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Mar 16 2012, 05:17PM

We should defently publish this, better than some of the crap nowadays...

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Mar 16 2012, 05:38PM

mental

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Mar 16 2012, 07:59PM

still better than twilight, oops did I just say that out loud?

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
droid225, Fri Mar 16 2012, 08:43PM

heh

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Soul_UK, Sat Mar 17 2012, 06:41PM

I was laughing my way through most of it ... just added my own bit too

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Heralen, Mon Mar 19 2012, 09:38AM

this made me cry.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Michael_scott, Fri Aug 03 2012, 04:00PM

Someone should copy this into a book

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Aug 03 2012, 05:19PM

oh no no dont bring this up again i thought it was gone for good

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Ryona4, Sat Aug 04 2012, 02:52AM

It will never be fully gone, its spirit lives on forever.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Sat Aug 04 2012, 05:48PM

I think someone else has said they where going to put this into a book.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Sun Aug 05 2012, 06:24PM

i thought it was tan. or maybe beagrie.
Michael seeing as though you brought up the idea i think you should.

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Soul_UK, Sun Aug 05 2012, 08:56PM

Best get typing! lol

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Wed Aug 08 2012, 10:38AM

I've not played minecraft in a while, is it not possible to copy and paste into the book?

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
Michael_scott, Wed Aug 08 2012, 10:58AM

Yes but you need to work out character length otherwise it wont work

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
dubien, Fri Aug 10 2012, 06:11PM

Is someone going to put it in a book then?

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
dubien, Fri Aug 10 2012, 08:10PM

Ok, I made it into a book. I can make free copies for anyone who wants them! They only take about 5-10 minutes to make!

Re: Five word story - The complete version!
, Fri Aug 10 2012, 10:40PM

I would love one, but I can't play for like 4 weeks.
Super sad face.